Love And Relationship: A Love we Should all Aspire to

This article is written by Tochi Eze…..enjoy!!!…..There are certain incidents in my life that I have not been able to forget, like a picture nailed to a wall, these memories hang in my mind with a permanence that cannot be shaken off. One of such memories is that of my mother. I remember a time I had the chicken pox. I recall the look on the doctor’s rimmed face as he railed about not having a cure and of me needing to wait out the virus. I remember with clarity his stern instruction to my mother to quarantine me, since as my primary care taker; she could expose herself to the virus having never been affected.
To this day, the frown lines that creased her face at such outrageous instruction stand out so much that it feels like I can reach out from here and touch that memory from my past. I learned that day, as we left the hospital and left every note of warning behind, that my mother was simply not the woman you told to lock away her sick child for fear of being infected. And so it was with her, on her bed, by her insistence, that I went through the boiling fevers and brutal blisters. It was her who decided to rub the lotions down my back, who asked me where it itched and distracted me from scratching. And even when I complained that she could get infected, she waved off the thought, like a bad smell, saying she could pray off any chicken pox that came her way.
There are few things in my life as present, as evoking, and even often as frustrating as the love of my mother. True. My mother’s love has gone through many seasons and remained. It has witnessed my teenage rebellion; it has tasted my adult awareness. It has been liberating, it has been choking, it has many times been wrongly targeted and misunderstood, it has been criticised and frantically pushed aside, but in all these things, it has remained. And I am accepting with resignation that it is not a thing I can outgrow or outsmart. And though it may not be always perfect, yet, like the memories I am not able to put away, my mother’s love has remained with me, that I know that if it came to a matter of my falling, I trust it to be the hand that will ready itself to catch me.
It is so inspiring that a person can love in such a selfless way, that a human, both fragile and breakable, can be that tirelessly devoted to another. And I think about all other forms of human love relationships and I wonder if any can measure up to the love that a mother holds for her child. Let me explain. From time to time, I get to hear the bickering of couples and their relationship problems. Only recently, someone I know was on the verge of leaving his wife because of some continuous complaints and disagreements. And I cannot help but wonder how our other forms of relationships seem to fall so far behind from the inspirational, absolute and swelling love between mother and child. For instance, in all the times I have struggled to escape the grip of my mother’s perceived misguided affections, not once have I thought of un-mothering her. I do not get so rattled that I seek motherhood from more promising places. And while I know that comparing parental love with romantic love is a bit of a stretch due to the perceived absence of a blood bond, yet, I still believe, however naively, that love in its idealism, is a greater bond than blood.
So I ask myself, what if this love was something we strive to replicate in all our relationships? What if our mothers, our first contacts with real love, exist among other reasons to teach us how to love other people? What if their selflessness and sacrifice was something we imbibed to pass on to the next person? What if mothers are nature’s way to prepare us for a lifetime of relentless, tireless and enduring loving? This may sound preachy, almost like something dug up from a sermon book. But still, I think there’s a lot to aspire towards in watching the love between mother and child: a lot that our relationships can potentially be, if we decide to love a little bit more, if we decide to be daring, forgiving, patient, selfless, ambitious and maybe consistent. Yes, as far reaching as it sounds, human relationships will be a lot better if we loved each other with a fraction of the love we have received from our mothers.


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